Short one liners. short jokes, one 2019-09-17

Short one liners Rating: 4,8/10 1402 reviews

42 Funny One Liner Jokes

short one liners

Dave Barry's 50 Years of Experience Men, Manners. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? What's the definition of macho? If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer…oh wait, he does. Buy a deck of cards. With a calendar, your days are numbered. .

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One liner jokes

short one liners

What does a nosy pepper do? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What if there were no hypothetical questions? What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Two whales walk into a bar.

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Even More Dirty One Liners Joke

short one liners

What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? What swims and starts with a T? Light travels faster than sound. The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. What has one horn and gives milk? Beauty is only skin deep…but ugly goes all the way to the bone! If you fool me twice, shame on me. How is it possible to have a civil war? Is there another word for synonym? If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. Just received a card full of rice.

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50+ Painfully Funny One Liners

short one liners

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? Boy: That the potato should go in the front. Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose? What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Regardless of the temptation, don't lick a steak knife. What if there were no hypothetical questions? No one is listening until you fart. .

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42 Funny One Liner Jokes

short one liners

They start out as milk, and it's up to women to mold them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. . Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? She sells seashells on the seashore. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

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Short Jokes

short one liners

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? Question Jokes - How do I set a laser printer to stun? The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words. Are they afraid someone will clean them? The difference between in-laws and outlaws? My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. The Fellowship of the Ring, 1954 You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

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Short Jokes

short one liners

Then I realized they can handle it themselves. What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook? For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. . If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Why do female skydivers wear jock straps? What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market? They have cotton balls Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? Gravity and Grace, 1942 Life is too short to be little. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Place to hang their air freshener.

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50+ Painfully Funny One Liners

short one liners

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. After five years your job will still suck. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I could use a few.

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One Liners

short one liners

It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. I suppose he just had to be a little patient. Really… 35 children are enough. Does that mean my job is a crime? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years. .

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Clean Short Jokes, Funny One Line Jokes

short one liners

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children. But when it gets bad, I take something for it. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from London Zoo. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. . Fiction has to make sense.

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